CONTEST: PERSONAL ADS for Witches: Womby’s School for Wayward Witches
Women Seeking Men
Putting the Romance Back into Necromancy
The best teacher in the world and most superior witch in the Unseen Realm will grant the privilege of a mutually beneficial relationship with some lucky man. Enjoys dancing, vegan and fat-free food that doesn’t taste like cardboard, and long walks in the graveyard. Must love cats and corpses. Fucktards need not apply.
Voluptuous blonde bombshell with a voice that will entrance, seeks a sexy man—or woman—I’m not choosy. Pluses in a mate: bookish, intelligent, and open to wild tantric sexual experiences and threesomes. Swimming skills a must.
Pretty in Pink
Artist and art teacher with sunny disposition, optimistic world view, and pink hair seeking the love of her life. Looking for someone trustworthy, patient, compassionate, and loving. Must be honest, open, and not evil.
Also, must be okay with a rainbow light show after we’re intimate.
Along Came a Spider
Vegetarian, crafty, earthy bohemian searching for a date and potential mate. Originally hails from the Seattle area, but currently residing in the Unseen Realm. Brownie points to you if you are open to kinky bondage. Please be not gay or hairy.
Men Seeking Men
Djinn and Tonic
I’m looking for my soulmate, but in the meantime, I am happy to have fun with a kilty pleasure. Red hair and elf ears are pluses. I’m ready to take a ride on your kilt-a-whirl. Rub my lamp, and let me make your dreams come true.
Men Seeking Women
Horny, Handsome, and Hungry for Love
You know what they say about stallions. We’ve got big hearts—and bigger horns. I want you to ride me all night long. Then I’ll serenade you with eighties love ballads. This beast is waiting for his beauty.
I Won’t Blow You Off
Blue-haired wind Elementia searching for a lady who will whisk me away in a whirlwind of a relationship. Prefers the girl-next-door type. I’ll give you my heart. Will you give me yours?
Looking for Princess Charming
Wealthy, handsome, considerate, and humble Legolas look-alike searching for an artistic woman interested in bearing his heirs. Let me be your muse. I will inspire you all night long.
Big Feet, Big Heart
I’m BBFM (big, beautiful furry male) and proud of it. I’m a nature enthusiast searching for someone with similar interests. Open to all magical affiliations and affinities. Friendship and connection is important. We’ll see what follows.
No Pain, No Gain (Sample Title)
CONTEST: Felix Thatch’s Personal Ad
Do you have a brilliant idea for Professor Felix Thatch’s personal ad for what he would write? (Okay, so if you have gotten to at least Book 4, you probably realize Thatch would sooner die than write a personal ad, but if he did, what would it say?)
If you submit a personal ad for Felix Thatch, using the Google form link below, your entry will be entered in the contest and potentially published in the back of the book. As a thank-you for your enthusiasm for the series, and making my readers and me laugh, I will send the first-place winner a prize in the form of a Womby’s mini-notebook.
Enter your submission in this Google Form. Winners TBA.